itunes: Poe, Haunted (2000)
Philip sent me this sms this morning: "Ok I ask with trepidation, but how's ur drv lesson 2day?"
How is my driving lesson today? That's a very good question but I cant answer that cos I didnt turn up and it's going to cost me S$68. Seriously speaking, it rained heavily this morning, the weather is so cooling and I have no desire to put a single foot out of the house at all. What a good time to chill out, reading the papers, updating the blog and not forgetting, to sulk as well.
Yes sulk. I'm getting disheartened with these lessons and I do not know why I'm paying to demoralise my confidence in learning abilities. So today I should take a break and re-think my predicament. Strictly speaking, judging the fact that I'm able to start, move and manoeuver the wheels by the 2nd lesson, mastering the 'art' of clutch and changing gears by the 4th, it shows at least I'm not a slow learner, with the fact I'm able to apply the engine brake as well. I have yet to perfect the skill of coordination of the clutch and the accelerator during changing gear and moving off. Sad to say, according to the feedback given, I was labelled as a slow learner because I have lessons only once a week. What a joke, my toes are not amused at all.
It's a real dog-eat-dog world outside the circuit. Everything on the road is hazardous to me. I cursed the lane cutting taxi, truck drivers, especially the hellish bikers, I damned the pedestrians who dashed across the road, I sweared at the endless number of red traffic lights. Worst of all, the torment of the non-stop nagging instructor right at my left ear. At the height of the plague, my impatience and agitation will step in place of my sanity and I simply wish I can knock down a few careless pedestrians, send a few bikers flying to the walkway, ram into a couple of taxis and trucks, slash and stab the drivers, hack down traffic light posts with a crowbar, and eventually take out one of my shoe and stuff it into the instructor's mouth. Hmmm this should be able to ease some of my wrath and frustrations. I think I'm not cut out to be a good driver, realising I tend to lose patience easily and hopefully not turning out to be a road bully someday.
Since driving it's all about judgement and feel after mastering the basics, I dun understand why am I being commented just because I cant gauge how much to turn that bloody steering wheel when going round the bend or how early to down gear when approaching a red traffic light. Technically speaking, exactly how much to swivel and how early to down gear is sufficient, these silly instructors can never give me a good direct answer. If this is so, DUN EVER JUDGE ME AS A SLOW LEARNER. If I'm really that good, you think I will give you a free spin, you can f-off, really.
Put it this way, if I'm really that bad, why not just leave me in the circuit until I'm better off in gauging and judging before moving out to the main roads? I have repeatedly requested to stay in the circuit for more lessons to get familiarise with the technique, but yet I'm still out at the roads. It's like throwing someone who just learnt to swim into sea and expect him to swim back to the shore? This is simply crazy. Fine, one may say, once you are thrown into the sea, you will learn to stay afloat and learn faster. I agree wholeheartedly and notwithstanding this is not an attitude problem, I'm willing to accept criticisms and improve myself even though I'm paying to learn but please exercise patience and dun criticise me unconstructively.
Take for example, we were on a straight road after crossing the traffic light and in accordance to the so called safe driving instruction, I should slowly up gear to the 4th but from far, I saw this bloody old lady standing on the road divider and again according to the safe driving instruction, I should be slowing down because she may just dash across the road. This is when the instructor commented that I'm slow in changing gear. I told him off straight, there is someone on the road divider and I have to slow down, is not it? He kept quiet. This is what I mean by uncontructively criticism.
Another classic example, we were turning at the green light junction and at the adjacent crossing, there were 2 slow moving pedestrians, taking their own sweet time to cross the road (if I have a whip, I will sure get out of the car, whip them to gallop faster, damn hell!). Since it will be sometime before they complete crossing, the instructor asked me to inch forward and if the crossing is clear, just moved off. I did likewise and thereafter, he reminded me that I should not do it because pedrestrians have the right of way. FUCK YOU! I cursed you in my heart, you were the one who asked me to move off and now you got the cheek to turn around and remind me that this is a wrong doing????!!!! What kind of fucking logic is that? Your mismanagement does not constitute to my inefficiency get it? Asshole.
I just dun understand why do these brainless instructors come with motorised naggin mouth. Come on, I mastered the theory as well as you do and if I'm able to relate to you the reasons of every mistake I made, honestly speaking, I dun really need anymore reminders, excessive of it, it will just filter out of my ears. I'm already very tensed up at the driver seat and do not wish any more catalysts to spice up my panicky tension. Learning is all about making mistakes and not about endless nagging. Evenutally, my ears become numb and my brain will eventually go into standby mode after an hour of tedious driving. I dunno why am I behaving like this? I really want to know if I'm really cut out to be a driver. What pisses me most is if the dumbest among my friends can get a driving licence, why cant I? That's the reason why I refused to give up or simply switch to learn an auto gear car.
Sigh I dunno what have I gotten myself into. Comfort Driving Centre? My ass. Instead since I find comfort in moving around by BMW and why am I cheap enough to spent money to get my intelligence and abilities insulted. By the way, BMW stands for Bus, MRT, Walk. :OP
