Pirates of the Crap-ibbean: At Wits' End
itunes: Simply Red, Simplified (2006)
I simply cant believe of what I saw for the tedious 2 hours and 45 minutes is a total crap. The only consolation is I'm amazed that I did not doze off and my patience is quite substantial to last me to the final scene (oh yes, there is one last 3 mins scene after the lengthy credits, dun bother to watch if you are rushing off or dying to leave your cinema seat cos you dun miss much anyway.)
The opening scene is absolutely redundant. Mass singing pirates at the gallows have nothing to do with saving Jack Sparrow.
Indeed I find it enjoyable to watch the 1st 30 minutes of how the gang went to Captain Sao Feng to get/steal the map in order to rush and save Jack Sparrow. I thought this should catapulted the show into a higher intensity. Never knew that when Jack Sparrow appeared, in the next an hour or so, the movie collapsed into a merely boring mass feud plot, as if they were playing some kind of a betrayal musical chair game. Though not boring to make audience walk out of the threatre, I guess the main reason we saw big money have been spent well on everything except the script of this movie.
As expected in most Hollywood blockbusters, it is inevitable to have a great kissing scene between the leading actor and actress. I would say the one in this installment is as stale as the love scene between Queen Amidala and Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode II. The scene is so draggy that you can close your eyes and yet have sufficient time to relax them altogether.
Tia Dalma promised Davy Jones (Calypso's lover) that once the sea goddess Calypso is freed from her body, Calypso will wipe out everyone at sea with her cruelty, vengeance and power unleased. For that moment, I thought the movie will once again lift to the closing climax with a big monster. What a turn off, I feel cheated of my money really. Upon the release curse is said, you will see Tia Dalma merely grown so huge in size (surprising the ship did not sink at all), let out some disturbing screams to lead audience on, and eventually collapse into millions and millions of crabs, yes it's crabs, pouring into the sea, that's all. Not even a single sight of Calypso. To make thing worse, Will Turner even told her that it's Davy Jones who betrayed her initially that leads to her confinement within Tia Dalma's body, it seems that Calypso did not take any revenge at all, which I expect she would. Damn fucking redundant character and plot here.
Davy Jones and his flying dutchman is another disappointment. He emerged as a powerful character in Part 2 but in this parter, he behaves like any other ordinary human being under the threats from Lord Cutler Beckett. Yeah he did some human-like rebel towards the end but his death is just simply too predictable and straight forward. Isn't he suppose to be mighty and strong? Why is he so vulnerable here? What an insult to this significant role!!!
Unless you are a die-hard fan of this series, else for any other amateur audience, I would suggest you to keep a score card to keep track of everyone and what they did in the past. If not, this lengthy bore will be reduced further to a mere confusion and more flash than content. No wonder the cinemas held Pirates of the Crap-ibbean marathon shows prior to the screening of this instalment, a fresher course for audience like us.
There are tell tale signs throughout this movie saying this is a crap show. Millions of crabs appear to move Jack Sparrow's ship to the beach so that the gang can get to him easily. The other one will be the disintegration of Tia Dalma, full of crabs (or full of craps? haha) as well.
After all, the film looks gorgeous; this is one of those movies where you can see its entire budget laid out before you onscreen. The sets are stunning, the water looks beautiful (of cos thanks to Bahamas Tourism Board) and the framing of all the shots gives the film a sense of grand scale. The most impressive scene will be when Sparrow, Barbossa, and Swann walking down a beach to the final ship to ship battle.
Listen to my advice, bring in more tibits and bedtime pillows, take more toilet breaks dun torture your poor bladder and kidneys, or ipod or PSP if you have one.....haha
I simply cant believe of what I saw for the tedious 2 hours and 45 minutes is a total crap. The only consolation is I'm amazed that I did not doze off and my patience is quite substantial to last me to the final scene (oh yes, there is one last 3 mins scene after the lengthy credits, dun bother to watch if you are rushing off or dying to leave your cinema seat cos you dun miss much anyway.)
The opening scene is absolutely redundant. Mass singing pirates at the gallows have nothing to do with saving Jack Sparrow.
Indeed I find it enjoyable to watch the 1st 30 minutes of how the gang went to Captain Sao Feng to get/steal the map in order to rush and save Jack Sparrow. I thought this should catapulted the show into a higher intensity. Never knew that when Jack Sparrow appeared, in the next an hour or so, the movie collapsed into a merely boring mass feud plot, as if they were playing some kind of a betrayal musical chair game. Though not boring to make audience walk out of the threatre, I guess the main reason we saw big money have been spent well on everything except the script of this movie.
As expected in most Hollywood blockbusters, it is inevitable to have a great kissing scene between the leading actor and actress. I would say the one in this installment is as stale as the love scene between Queen Amidala and Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode II. The scene is so draggy that you can close your eyes and yet have sufficient time to relax them altogether.
Tia Dalma promised Davy Jones (Calypso's lover) that once the sea goddess Calypso is freed from her body, Calypso will wipe out everyone at sea with her cruelty, vengeance and power unleased. For that moment, I thought the movie will once again lift to the closing climax with a big monster. What a turn off, I feel cheated of my money really. Upon the release curse is said, you will see Tia Dalma merely grown so huge in size (surprising the ship did not sink at all), let out some disturbing screams to lead audience on, and eventually collapse into millions and millions of crabs, yes it's crabs, pouring into the sea, that's all. Not even a single sight of Calypso. To make thing worse, Will Turner even told her that it's Davy Jones who betrayed her initially that leads to her confinement within Tia Dalma's body, it seems that Calypso did not take any revenge at all, which I expect she would. Damn fucking redundant character and plot here.
Davy Jones and his flying dutchman is another disappointment. He emerged as a powerful character in Part 2 but in this parter, he behaves like any other ordinary human being under the threats from Lord Cutler Beckett. Yeah he did some human-like rebel towards the end but his death is just simply too predictable and straight forward. Isn't he suppose to be mighty and strong? Why is he so vulnerable here? What an insult to this significant role!!!
Unless you are a die-hard fan of this series, else for any other amateur audience, I would suggest you to keep a score card to keep track of everyone and what they did in the past. If not, this lengthy bore will be reduced further to a mere confusion and more flash than content. No wonder the cinemas held Pirates of the Crap-ibbean marathon shows prior to the screening of this instalment, a fresher course for audience like us.
There are tell tale signs throughout this movie saying this is a crap show. Millions of crabs appear to move Jack Sparrow's ship to the beach so that the gang can get to him easily. The other one will be the disintegration of Tia Dalma, full of crabs (or full of craps? haha) as well.
After all, the film looks gorgeous; this is one of those movies where you can see its entire budget laid out before you onscreen. The sets are stunning, the water looks beautiful (of cos thanks to Bahamas Tourism Board) and the framing of all the shots gives the film a sense of grand scale. The most impressive scene will be when Sparrow, Barbossa, and Swann walking down a beach to the final ship to ship battle.
Listen to my advice, bring in more tibits and bedtime pillows, take more toilet breaks dun torture your poor bladder and kidneys, or ipod or PSP if you have one.....haha
posted by music-nazi ~ musik mit uns at 17:15
1 Comments:
i think i am skipping this movie. but i am definitely going to watch johnny depp's upcoming movie: sweeney todd!
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